As members of the “Entrepreneurial
Family Business Club” we understand a few things about being family members in,
running, and strategically surviving and thriving in the family business
atmosphere. Unlike some members, but
like so many others, I chose to join the family business. Of course, there have been days where I longed
to be anywhere else and days where I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.
There is a degree of
misconception that surrounds the aura of the family business. It is important to understand that family
businesses account for approximately 50% of US GNP, they are found in both the
private and public sectors, they are found in every industry and niche, and
they range the spectrum in both scope and size from the “Mom and Pop” to
Wal-Mart. Chances are very high on of
the last places you shopped was a family business.
While there is no real
and common definition of a family business, the concentration here is on the
smaller, more entrepreneurial business model.
This will range from the sole-proprietor to larger firms. Entrepreneurial family businesses are
sometimes smaller in relative employment size but can be larger in both gross
and net profit than their counterparts.
As I have written,
contemplated, and talked at length with others about the family business
model(s), I enjoy engaging discussions with others who are either in a family business (as a family member or an employee of one) and those
who are outside of one. While the
questions and statements often run the gamut, here are three very common ones:
How Do You Work With Family?
How Do You Create
Boundaries?
I Want My Child In The
Business But They Don’t Want to Be Here
How Do You Work With Family?
This is my favorite
question to answer and not because it is the one I am asked most often. I truly enjoy working with my family
members. Yes there are days when we don’t
want to talk to one another, but there are more days where we laugh and grow
together.
Working with family is
hard, very hard, and there is no amount coaching, counseling, conferences,
etc., that will ever alter this fact.
Inside the family dynamic there are hundreds of pieces to adjust. Not only are we family, but we know more “truth”
about each other than we might know about a non-family member employee. This works both ways. We can know of and be disappointed in the
actions of the member from their personal life, or we can know the same and be
proud.
In our experience, mine
included, the successful family business is one that is able to communicate in
healthy ways and set clear, concise expectations of one another. When the older family member defines the
expectation for the younger generation, it is important the younger member
define an expectation of the older member.
While the older member might refine, or redefine, this expectation, it
serves as a strategic communication point in the business.
As a practical tactic, it
is important that members of the family have scheduled meetings where only business-related items are allowed for
discussion. In addition, it is wise that
the family members spend time away from the office environment together and not talk about business-related
matters. These are hard to do, but well
worth the effort to execute.
How Do You Create Boundaries?
Having, over the years,
over eight family members in and out of the business, I understand this
need. The first rule of thumb is to
create very sustainable and reasonable job descriptions. The second is to avoid the unhealthy need to control
the actions and/or behaviors of family members.
Drafting, discussion,
redrafting, and delivering an agreed upon job description for the family member
is critical. If and when the time arises
when work is not being performed to expectation, or they are performing someone
else’s work, there is something concrete and practical to refer them to in an
effort to realign their behaviors. A
secondary reason for this is that it gives the member purpose. In an effort to avoid nepotism or favoritism
(if avoiding such is desirous), both parties have the document(s) to refer to.
Allowing the family member
to perform their work without your control is important. As we begin the impossible task of
maintaining their actions and behaviors, we set an insurmountable expectation
that will do nothing but present us with disappointment. In lieu of this reality, work to allow the
family member to develop, with proper training, coaching, etc., into the professional
they are to be. While I realize this
reads as being flippant, it has been our experience that those more successful entrepreneurial
family business firms give the family member and non-family member relative amounts
of leeway in order to develop in healthy and productive ways.
I agree there is a lot
more to boundaries between family members, but these two are two of
the more important lessons.
I Want My Child In The Business But They Don’t Want To Be Here
A few years ago I took a phone call from the CEO of a small company. As a caring mother, she wanted
her children to follow her into the multi-generational family business. She is an astute person and exceptional leader
running a very successful enterprise. As
she spoke I listened very carefully to her words and how she used them. After a few questions and more listening, I
asked her how I could help. She replied
by asking me what did she need to say to convince her children to join the
business.
My reply then, as now, was simple. You Don’t.
One of the worst things we can do in the family business model is foster
environments of nepotism. Forcing a
child to join the ranks is as potentially disastrous as having Nero-like children joining the business. While the former
can grow into enjoying the business, the latter is more dangerous as they have
the tendency ostracize family and non-family members as well as present a continual
drain on both tangible and intangible company resources. The latter can also reform, but not without more struggle.
As we talked, I encouraged her to talk independently to her
children first, and then collectively.
As an intelligent leader, she knew what to look for but needed the right
questions to ask. We talked and agreed
that allowing her child to clearly voice their life objectives was a wise
decision, as this allowed her to voice her concerns about the company. As a group, she was then able to speak with
intention to the entire family about her goals and how, if willing, they could
fit in. (An important point about the
inclusion of family members to the business is that they need a specific role
and set of responsibilities.)
We spoke sometime later and while there was some angst in
the process, she shared with them the various positions she wanted them to
begin with and charted a path for success, should they work for it, and allowed
them to make up their own minds.
This opened the future family members up to a new
reality. Here was a job that they had a
qualification, or potential, for, and has a path for success. The children that joined the business and are
thriving today because this CEO had the courage to be upfront with them, without forcing them to be a part of the business.
Follow-up Action Item
If you are in the family business, look around. Are the members there because they want to
be? Are they forced members, Nero-like,
or both? If you are in a position that
can make critical decisions, it’s time to have important conversations with
these members.
Takeaway
The entrepreneurial family business model is a very
detailed and dynamic model. While there
are no real “silver bullets” to solve familial issues in the workplace, the
above can help to set you on the path to developing a healthy and productive
environment.
Delivering Your Best
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