Transformational Leaders Have Character

The truth is anyone can lead people; however, few people can be leaders.  What makes leadership hard for most people is that they don’t have character, or a character that is worth following.  These people, until they find theirs and lead with it, will continue to get the same frustrating results.  

Every person has the choice to develop their character and yesterday’s lack of judgment does not necessarily equate to today’s lack of character.  Without mistakes, we cannot make behavioral corrections. Without character, no leader can influence positive transformational leadership.  

Leaders today are under intense pressure to perform.  With our on-demand culture, they are expected to garner greater returns, inspire their stakeholders, and be able to do anything it takes to succeed.  While we agree that leadership in its purity has not changed over time, what has changed is how we come to measure a leader.

Leadership is a complicated topic that has spurned thousands of books, articles, and seminars, almost since the advent of writing.  For hundreds of years, humans have been detailing the lives of successful people trying to gain a glimpse of something they do that may be transferable to our own lives.  A key reason biographies sell well every year is that people are naturally curious how and why others did what they did and how they did it -readers want to learn about a person's character.

          Character is vague and somewhat nebulous.  In order to better understand what it is, we must understand that character is an aggregate construct.  As an aggregate, it takes features, traits, moral or ethical qualities, etc., and forms the individual, specific nature of a person.  As you can see, we must understand these inputs (and others) in order to truly gauge a person’s character.

An example: When we assassinate the character of person on a personal level when, and as is often the case, the conflict is more behaviorally related to the circumstance and not personal, we ourselves are demonstrating our lack of character.

A simplified and very basic example to be sure, but we hope that you understand the point: sometimes we do not understand the whole of other people and we judge their character based on a single behavior; thus, raising a significant flag to the quality of our own character.  (It is also understood that multiplied behaviors will call character into question.) 

          Think about the above example in your life.  Have you ever judged the whole of someone based on some act?  Has anyone ever judged you based on some act?  Consider this: If you believe you are a person of character, are their objectionable items that others may lay at your feet that would arguably detract from the whole?  For most of us, the resounding answer is ‘Yes, there are many.’  And yet, we still have leaders of high character.  Many transformational leaders often hold what we might call ‘objectionable character’ traits.

We are not posing an apologetic argument that reinforces negative traits can be outweighed by good deeds or better traits.  Rather, we are posing the idea that all of us are not exempt from making mistakes, sometimes big mistakes, and often times repeating the same mistakes.  The ability to err is what makes us human.  The ability to grow from our mistakes is what transforms us into leaders. 

          Consider the macro-lens, who does transformational leadership matter to?  You?  The other person?  We will argue, both of you.  And in an age where leadership is under constant pressure, we need to develop stronger ‘servant-leaders.’  For those of you who believe this reads like an absurd proposition – that we should humble ourselves, be of service to all people, and follow a path of honest reflection – we will argue that leadership today is deficient in its character because of a lack of the above.

It is our undeniable experience that leaders who follow the servant-leader model are happier, more successful leaders, and more well-rounded people. Following this path will encourage a hunger for deeper and deeper transformation inside, so that it's not just your outside deeds that are superficially correct. You will discover a passion and increasing desire to be changed from deep within.

While this is not a religious or spiritual exercise, it is also not necessarily the path to success; rather, this is the path to transformation.  It is the path of becoming leader of character.

Follow-up Action Item

          Consider your actions as a leader.  Are you a person of character?  Are you a leader of character?  Review your daily inputs.  Look at how you think about others and how you act towards others.  Take this information and see how you can improve the lives of those around you through positive character transformation.  Be the leader you are designed to be.  Be the leader those around you need you to be.

Takeaway

When you experience transformation like this, you find that you will become an entirely different sort of leader.  The light of character that spills out of you will illuminate those around you and change their lives.  It is not a leadership of obedience, but one of service.  It is not the character of weakness, it is the character of power.

Delivering Your Best

What's Your Elevator Speech?

No matter what you do, or who you are, at some point you will be given a moment to ‘pitch’ yourself.  A ‘pitch’ here is that description of who you are, or what product you sell, or what you stand for, or what makes you unique, or sets you apart, etc.

An ‘Elevator Speech’ is simply this pitch made in the time it takes to ride an elevator.  This is the time you have to make that great first impression, explain to someone your passions, make the sell, or simply inform someone about you.  The pitch is made in about 30 to 60 seconds and should be very precise, concise, and on message.

Considering the vast number of professionals who don’t know what an elevator speech is, don’t be alarmed if you don’t have one; most of the time we don’t take the time to boil ourselves down to a 30 to 60 second message.  We can assure you, with great confidence, that those who have perfected their pitch have given it countless times and reaped tremendous rewards.

The elevator speech allows us to demonstrate our passion(s) in a short time frame.  It doesn’t matter if you are a talker, or a listener, we all need a solid ‘pitch’ about ourselves and/or those things that matter to us.

A few years ago I was raising money for a capital campaign.  During the elevator ride to my meeting, I was in the car with a stranger who engaged me in conversation.  Although I understood the ins and outs of the campaign, I fumbled around during this brief time to give a concise explanation of what I was doing and highlighted what I thought was urgent.  Unfortunately, I missed the important talking points I was so good at delivering with a client in a meeting.

I remember this story because sometime later on, when I was introduced to the critical need of having a good ‘Elevator Speech,’ I recalled this example.  Knowing that the elevator is simply a metaphor for the timing of the speech, I set down to being able to articulate myself in 30 to 60 seconds.  After years of preparing numerous pitches, I’ve condensed, written, re-written, and finally compiled a methodology for creating an effective ‘pitch.’

Take these tips below and work with them.  Subtract and add your own points as necessary, after all, it’s your pitch! Remember, no matter what:

Understand Your Product

          We cannot underscore this point enough.  We’ve heard a number of pitches where the speaker(s) did not truly understand their product(s).  Sure, the energy and desire were there, but the speakers were not completely confident with their product.  (Product, in this case, is the essence of the ‘pitch.’  It doesn’t matter if you are talking about alligators, zebras, or anything in between, if you don’t understand the ins and outs of your ‘product’ the listener will see right through you and you will lose credibility.)

          Take some paper and write down what you are preparing to pitch.  As an example: you are raising money for a library to buy books and extend their offerings to the public.

          As mentioned above we need to know what are product is.  Can you tell me what the purpose of the product might be in the above example?  An idea could be education for children and adults.  This purpose is what we are really doing and trying to convey to the listener in a tightly managed amount of time.  Buying the books and creating an avenue for additional offerings is how the library is going to accomplish this goal.

          Writing this and, obviously, more information down on our paper you can begin to write what you want to say.  On the initial drafts it’s not important how long the speech is; what is important is moving the ideas from your mind to the page.

Clarify Your Intention

          Understand your purpose.  If you are raising money for the library and the purpose is education, you don’t need to mention the need for more chairs and desks.  This is where the work comes in.  Good, no great, pitches are written and re-written numerous times.  Take the time to continually write out the intention until it is perfect.

          Every time you write out the intention, you take the opportunity to tighten up the language, remove unnecessary words, etc.  This exercise alone will help you solidify your purpose in the pitch.

          In addition, try to avoid using large, complicated vocabulary in the pitch.  Ensure your pitch can be understood by everyone who hears it.  While it is most important that you pitch decision makers, treat everyone to the same pitch.  Be careful not to dumb-down, or fluff-up your language because of your perception of the listener.  While this may be necessary at a later point, the elevator speech is geared toward using a limited amount of time to convey a concise message.

Make Your Speech Memorable

          As you want to be remembered for your speech, also be remembered for your passion on the topic.  People, in general, want to be excited with you.  When you make your pitch be excited and let your passion be both heard and seen.

          Following the library example from above, be sure to engage the name of the library and connect it with your listener so they develop proper empathy you’re working to achieve.  If you can place anecdotal information about the library and thus brand the library with the listener, your speech will be that much more meaningful to the listener.

Your nonverbal communication skill set will be very important here.  If you tend to be very reserved, you will need to learn to animate yourself appropriately.  Likewise, if you ‘talk with your hands’ be careful with allowing your gestures to speak louder than your speech.

Practice, Practice, Practice

          Need we say more?  Practice is the very essence of success.  If you want to be successful at anything you must be willing to commit the necessary time.  Crafting and reciting the perfect speech will take time and practice.  Consider it this way: you will get one shot in this 30 to 60 second window.  One shot.  Take the time to word it properly and recite it clearly.

          When practicing the speech, say it to yourself while looking in the mirror.  This is what your listener will see while they hear you.  Please do not skip this step.  Practicing in the mirror will help you build confidence, and having confidence in your pitch is critical.

          Another practical reason to recite your speech in the mirror is to observe your nonverbal communication skills.  This practice time gives you an opportunity to work on these often overlooked pieces of the communication model.

          In the shower, during your commute, during your break, in your head, out loud, etc.; these are all opportunities to practice your speech.  Practice to make it perfect!

Follow-up Action Item

           Start writing today.  It will take some time to create your perfect speech.  Don’t be frustrated if you can’t get it down right away, keep working on it.  Keep writing and listening to others and what they say, you might want to incorporate some of the things others say into your speech, but you’ll never know unless you get started.  Use the list above and/or refine it to your expertise.  Either way, just do it!

Takeaway

          There will always be a time when you need to ‘pitch’ yourself and/or a product.  Taking the time to articulate this pitch in 30 to 60 seconds will set you apart from everyone else.  Adding this tool to your communication toolkit will open more doors for you than it will close.

Delivering Your Best

What Defines A Habit?

We all have habits.  Those things we do without fail.  Some of our habits are healthy, like brushing your teeth or bathing regularly.  Other habits, such as smoking, are not.  We each have numerous habits we engage in whether we recognize the mechanics of the performance of the action or not.  As a result, our habits essentially define the person we are.

There are countless books and articles released for reading and study every year articulating this topic.  We all know that bad habits are ‘bad’ for us and that good habits are ‘good’ for us.  If this is true that we know this, the question begs: why so many publications on the subject?

The truth, while from a biological and neurological perspective may be more difficult to attend to here, is that we make conscious choices to hold on to habits that are comfortable to us and provide a predetermined reward that we seek.

Take for instance, driving your car.  Beginning with locating your keys and walking to your car (there may be minor alterations that we may make from day to day) but this holds all the same.  We arrive at the car, unlocking it, opening the door, placing our bag in the seat, arranging our coffee cup, and adjusting ourselves into the seat.  At this point we will start the car and possibly move through some mechanical items such as adjusting the temperature and radio.  Putting the car in drive, or reverse, occurs in roughly the same pattern every time we drive our cars.  Admittedly there are dozens of more small ‘things’ we may or may not do when getting into our cars, but the point here is that we all have a routine for starting our cars.  This routine is mechanical and occurs on subconscious level.  This routine was built out of habit.

This is basic example to be sure, but is one that most of us can relate to performing on a regular basis.  Look back at your day and see what habits you have formed that you execute on every day.  While there is no particular pattern for quickly changing a habit, a good place to start is to understand how habits work.  Referring to Charles Duhigg’s How Habits Work, The Power of Habit, we’ll look at Mr. Duhigg’s habit framework model.

Identify The Routine

Experiment With Rewards

Isolate The Cue

Have A Plan

Identify the Routine

          At the core of every habit there is a loop that consists of three parts: a cue, a routine, and a reward.  When looking at changing our behavioral patterns we have to first determine and define this habit loop.  The cue is this part of the action that precipitates our desire/need for the habit.  The routine is that action we take that engages the habit from beginning to end. The reward is the emotional/psychological satisfaction we derive from the completion of this habit.

          Identifying the cue is a little tricky, but nonetheless important when working towards changing a habit.  The routine is the easy part to identify as this is generally defined as the habit itself.  Finally, the reward needs to be isolated in order to understand why we are engaging in the habit.

          When looking at the routine, it may be useful to take notes on various observations such as time of day, mood, etc.  These notes may be of use when attempting to define the rewards.

Experiment With Rewards

          Rewards are the results of our behaviors and understanding what the reward is to a specific habit will help us in determining a plan for changing the habit.  In this phase, when you have a habit you are looking to change Duhigg suggests experimenting with various rewards in order to determine what result is driving the routine. 

Since the result is the part of the habit we are looking to amend, pay attention to the various drivers and experimental results.  When we are redefining habits we must understand the basis behind the actions that lead to the reward.  Often, we find that habits are seeking to isolate desired results.  When we understand what we are seeking, redefining the habit becomes much clearer.

Isolate the Cue

          We have a variety of stimuli that affect our habits.  In getting to the cue of a specific habit we are looking to redefine we must isolate as nearly as possible the pattern of behaviors that lead up to the routine.

          Studies have shown that habitual cues fit into one of the following five categories: location, time, emotional state, other people, and immediately preceding the action.  Location is a clear cue as we are more likely, for example, to engage in similar morning routines from the comfort of our homes, but that this same routine with same or similar inputs is disrupted when you are engaging in a morning routine from a different location such as a hotel room.  Timing is important as this tells us when, during the day, we are likely to execute the habit.  While emotional state is a complicated fact set, attempt to note what your general mood is around the time of the habit.  Other people have a significant impact on our habits.  In the above example, if you and your significant other awake in the morning and execute a series of steps that define a morning routine or habit, when one or both of you is in a different location, the habit may be disrupted in its form, but still occurs (you did get dressed this morning regardless of your location).  Finally, the events immediately preceding the action are qualified examples of how our minds process order.  If, for example, you leave work every day and meet friends for a drink at a regular establishment, the event that immediately precedes this habit is the ending of the workday.

          In reading Duhigg, he reminds us to make good notations on the above in order to isolate the cues that precipitate the habit.  Give it a shot.  List the five cues above and write them down every day for a few days before the habit is executed, the results will probably surprise you!

Have a Plan

          Once the habit loop is determined and you’ve identified the reward driving the behavior, the cue triggering it, and the routine itself, you can begin the process of altering the habit as you desire.  Remember, habits are often ingrained and are occurring on a subconscious level.  Our minds recognize the cue and initiate the routine in order to receive the reward!

          Once you recognize the cues for the routine start changing the reward patterns.  Instead of grabbing the junk food during the lull of the afternoon, have some healthy alternative foods within reach.  When the cue for boredom and snacking initiate, you will have an option.  If this doesn’t work, rewire the reward again.  Keep working at it until you determine the right reward for the habit you are changing.

          If you are looking to change your behaviors completely, the above remains the same.  In the above example, you were looking to break the habit of meeting for drink after work.  A healthy alternative might be to go to the gym immediately after work.  While this is an option, it is certainly not the only one.  Only you can develop the plan for yourself.

Follow-up Action Item

           Isolate your cues and routines.  Then look at the rewards you are seeking.  Changing a habit is not difficult, but can be complicated if we don’t make the material changes needed in order to redefine the behavior.  Also, and while this is not an endorsement, read Charles Duhigg’s How Habits Work, The Power of Habit.  You can also probably find an audio version.  In fact, when changing a behavior spend that time reading this book (or one similar)!

Takeaway

          Habits are not superficial; rather, they are behavior constructs that can be changed with different behavioral inputs.  If you want to change something, you can do it.

Delivering Your Best

Listening to Your Inner Voice

We all have an inner voice.  It arguably originates as a part of the fight or flight response from our most primitive brain development.  It is the voice that tells us not to walk down a certain street, when everything otherwise appears normal.  It is the voice that tells us we do not resonate with certain people or things, though sometimes we might not be able to verbally articulate why.

The key word often associated with this inner voice is instinct.  Instincts are the patterns of natural tendencies or inclinations that all humans possess.  Some of us are more ‘in-tune’ with our instincts and over time learn to trust them and make better decisions.  Others of us dumb down this part of our nature and leave it as an unused and/or underdeveloped muscle in our arsenal of decision making abilities.

Over time, human nature has developed through countless experiences.  From the discovery of harnessing fire to understanding nanotechnology, we build on one experience after another.  These, and many other factors, contribute to the innate ability to understand situations when we otherwise have no other data to support our knowledge point(s). 

Often called a ‘sixth sense,’ this instinct works with the other five senses (touch, taste, sight, hearing, and smell).  This additional sense is an operator in human consciousness, and it follows logically that our magnificent minds internally play a part in decoding our environments, inclusive of the external listed above.

          We will look at breaking through the noise and better understanding the sound of voice and how to develop and listen to this voice in all situations.

What Is The Sound Of My Inner Voice?

How Do I Develop My Inner Voice?

How Do I Listen To My Inner Voice?

What Is The Sound Of My Inner Voice?

          Heuristics and biases are natural predictors of our inner voice.  Heuristics are the rules we internally develop, usually of the result of psychological and/or sociological stimuli, to help us assimilate and form decisions.  Also considered a short-cut, heuristics help us make specific decisions with apparent little conscious thought. 

Biases, on the other hand, represent the subsequent decision.  Often, when our inputs our incorrect, or our short-cuts are mistaken, we develop biases based on the inputs.  These biases are not necessarily developed consciously and entire fields, such as the study of cognitive biases, are being studied to better assist people in making more informed and objective decisioning.

Understanding some of your natural short-cuts is a start in hearing the sound of your inner voice.  A caution when tuning into this voice is ensuring the resulting information is objective and not wholly subjective.  Focusing on what your core values are is also a helpful exercise; for example, you might have a very sensitive voice to liars, and are able to ‘feel’ something amiss from certain people.  Others, however, may not have this frequency and ultimately don’t ‘hear’ what you hear.  The inclusion of value sets is not an arbitrary talking point.  Humans are conditioned to respond to what drives them, and what drives us is the essence of our value system(s).

The sound of your voice is unique to you and only you can learn to hear it.

How Do I Develop My Inner Voice

Meditation is an excellent process to help us consciously understand this system and hear our voice.  When we take the time to spend a few minutes every day to be still, be quiet, and be calm, we are teaching ourselves to hear the voice of our reason. Understand that meditation is not necessarily a religious or spiritual exercise.  While every known religion and spiritual path recognizes this process, it is not an exercise only the observant can benefit from.  All peoples, regardless of faith or lack thereof, can benefit from understanding their inner voice.

A second important approach is the art of listening.  Yes, listening is an art.  It is a developed practice that, when practiced, yields volumes of informative data.  When you are listening to someone, anything, listen to them or it.  Close your mind to the noise of your consciousness and hear their words, their perspectives, their interpretations.  Many of us listen with a clinical ear of cynicism and thus we miss what is being said because we are intent on mentally developing a retort to the speaker’s words.

While we believe rational cynicism is healthy, don’t allow this to obstruct your ability to hear.  When you listen openly and without additional noise, you are giving yourself an opportunity to subconsciously reflect on what you are hearing; thus, you are allowing your inner voice to hold a deeper, more meaningful and complete understanding.

A third task in developing your inner voice is your willingness to pause.  Pausing is an important process that so many of us ignore.  Teach yourself to pause at all of life’s intersections, conversations, deliberations, thoughts, actions and reactions.  When we learn to pause, our inner voice comes forth and relays the relevant data to our consciousness.  If there is any lesson to understand here it is the gift of pausing.  This is a very difficult construct to master, but one that will further the development of your inner voice with most efficiency.

How Do I Listen to My Inner Voice

          Listening to your inner voice is not hard, but is difficult.  It takes conscious practice to retrain your brain to listen objectively and phase out subjective noise.  When you take the time to invest in yourself, for the improvement and betterment of yourself, you are working towards a greater awareness of your inner voice.

          This is not an exercise of decisioning and/or executing, this is a simple application of understanding your voice.  With a greater understanding of what your voice sounds like you will better be able to implement this voice in your active decisioning and executing.  It is important to not confuse this when learning to listen to your inner voice.  When we are listening, that is all we are doing—listening.  With proper assignment and delegation of mental resources we can then use our voice for conscious decision making.

          This assignment and delegation comes from being quiet, and willing yourself to be heard.  With ongoing development and practice, you will employ the necessary skill sets to actively listen to your inner voice in all situations and circumstances.

          As you work towards this understanding, pay attention to the moments when your ‘gut tells’ you something.  It may help to record this in a diary of sorts to assist you in understanding when and where your voice is most active.  Once we understand when our voice becomes conscious we learn a greater proficiency at listening to this voice.

          A last remark: everything here is based on observables.  What you may need to consider or acquire in order for you to have an improved ‘sense’ of your voice is largely a subjective exercise.  The constructs relayed here are but initial stepping stones that are otherwise useful in all areas of life.  It is our desire and hope that you will develop your own systems of understanding so that you too may be able to better perform and deliver your best using your own voice.

Follow-up Action Item

           Take the time to develop a schedule that will allow you pull yourself away from the external world and listen to your ‘sixth sense.’  We all have this ability to hear our voice, but it is an otherwise trained, or retrained, ability.  Once you learn what your voice sounds like, pause in all situations in order to best gauge an appropriate response (if one is necessary).

Takeaway

          Listening to your inner voice is a precious gift that every person has, but very few use.  Learn to understand what your voice tells you and make decisions based on this voice.  In the end, be desirous of being a better person so that your voice may become one of safety and helpfulness to those around you.

Delivering Your Best

Social Entrepreneurship

As a buzz phrase, social entrepreneurship is certainly not new, but is becoming increasingly more popular.  While governments and NGOs alike often strive to deliver the best they can to people, it is often found that better, more inclusive results happen from social entrepreneurs.

Social entrepreneurs (SE or SEs) are otherwise average citizens that recognize economic or social community needs and develop a strategy for addressing these needs. Schwabfound.org is an excellent resource to what an SE looks like.  A well-known example is Nobel Laureate Professor Muhammad Yunus who developed Grameen Bank as a bank for the poor.  He saw a need and addressed that need while developing a sustainable income for his firm.  And this is the core of SE: originating a business model that develops great community benefit while providing income for the business and its stakeholders.

In recent years, as we near a truer global economy and community, the growth of SEs has exploded.  (It is understood that while most SE firms are legitimate, other SE firms are not; and, unfortunately, this reality is likely to always exist.)  More and more global citizens are taking responsibility to develop products or services that address social and/or economic problems.  While major corporations are, more and more, engaging in Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR), it is the individual that is developing new approaches to time-worn problems.

SEs are innovators.  They ask relevant questions, such as: Why is there mass poverty in Africa, and what can I do about it?  How is it possible that so many people have no, or limited, access to water, and what can I do about it?  Why is it still acceptable in today’s age that women are still not globally afforded equal rights, and what can I do about it?

These are simple questions whose answers resonate deep sociologic, economic, political, etc., reasons for being.  But there are answers and solutions!  The social and economic answers that beset the world can be addressed by us, the global citizens.  Our desire at Delivering Your Best it not to change the world.  Rather, our desire is to empower individual people through inspiration, motivation, and education that allows them to ‘deliver their best’ in and to their communities.

How do I Become a Social Entrepreneur?

          Becoming an SE is not difficult.  Address a social impact, develop an innovative approach that is sustainable and meets your goals.  Understand, SE are business people.  You are running a company that is either for-profit or non-profit, but is principally-centered around accomplishing its mission and vision.

          Being a successful entrepreneur is hard work.  Being a successful social entrepreneur is even harder.  Not only does your firm need to maintain enough revenue to repay its obligations and stakeholders, it must resolve a model that has enough revenue to adequately address its social impact.

          Read through the website at Schwabfound.org to see some characteristics of an SE.  (This is not an explicit endorsement of this firm.  Rather, we believe they have information that presents a good start for someone looking into SE.  If you believe there are better, more informative sites, please let us know.)

          Larger firms have entire departments and divisions addressing their CSR.  As an entrepreneur, it’s usually you (and often your family) and a few others.  Don’t let this reality set you back.  Greatness is developed in the suffering and sacrifice found on the road to success.

 Being a successful SE is hard and most people don’t have the fortitude to continue the march.  That said, if you recognize that you may not be an ‘entrepreneurial-type,’ then find a way to get involved with a cause that addresses your social impact needs and desires.

I want to make a difference

Remember, there are social problems in each of our local communities that are in desperate need of address.  You do not have to reach out to another continent to make a difference.  Often, the difference you seek to make can be found in your own neighborhood or community.  Being a successful SE does not have to have a global reach, it can literally be in your own ‘backyard.’

Making a difference in other people’s lives is a rewarding and just cause in its own right.  Being willing to make that difference and then acting on that desire is what sets us apart from those who only talk about the problem.

Action is needed in all corners of the globe.  Social good is not a political narrative, and if we are going to make a difference we will need people from all walks of life to contribute.

A final thought on ‘making a difference’ is that if you can positively influence one person, who will then positively influence one person, and so on, you can change the world! 

       

Follow-up Action Item

          Determine your strengths and weaknesses.  Reflect on those items that you are passionate about and get educated about them.  If you find there are firms addressing your desired niche, get involved.  If you find there is a void in this segment, get creative!

Takeaway

          SEs are the future of our global way of life.  While they can never answer the political questions, we can as individuals get governments to look at pressing social impact issues through a different, or improved, lens of thought.

Delivering Your Best

The Family Business

As members of the “Entrepreneurial Family Business Club” we understand a few things about being family members in, running, and strategically surviving and thriving in the family business atmosphere.  Unlike some members, but like so many others, I chose to join the family business.  Of course, there have been days where I longed to be anywhere else and days where I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.

There is a degree of misconception that surrounds the aura of the family business.  It is important to understand that family businesses account for approximately 50% of US GNP, they are found in both the private and public sectors, they are found in every industry and niche, and they range the spectrum in both scope and size from the “Mom and Pop” to Wal-Mart.  Chances are very high on of the last places you shopped was a family business.

While there is no real and common definition of a family business, the concentration here is on the smaller, more entrepreneurial business model.  This will range from the sole-proprietor to larger firms.  Entrepreneurial family businesses are sometimes smaller in relative employment size but can be larger in both gross and net profit than their counterparts.

As I have written, contemplated, and talked at length with others about the family business model(s), I enjoy engaging discussions with others who are either in a family business (as a family member or an employee of one) and those who are outside of one.  While the questions and statements often run the gamut, here are three very common ones:

How Do You Work With Family?

How Do You Create Boundaries?

I Want My Child In The Business But They Don’t Want to Be Here

How Do You Work With Family?

This is my favorite question to answer and not because it is the one I am asked most often.  I truly enjoy working with my family members.  Yes there are days when we don’t want to talk to one another, but there are more days where we laugh and grow together.

Working with family is hard, very hard, and there is no amount coaching, counseling, conferences, etc., that will ever alter this fact.  Inside the family dynamic there are hundreds of pieces to adjust.  Not only are we family, but we know more “truth” about each other than we might know about a non-family member employee.  This works both ways.  We can know of and be disappointed in the actions of the member from their personal life, or we can know the same and be proud.

In our experience, mine included, the successful family business is one that is able to communicate in healthy ways and set clear, concise expectations of one another.  When the older family member defines the expectation for the younger generation, it is important the younger member define an expectation of the older member.  While the older member might refine, or redefine, this expectation, it serves as a strategic communication point in the business. 

As a practical tactic, it is important that members of the family have scheduled meetings where only business-related items are allowed for discussion.  In addition, it is wise that the family members spend time away from the office environment together and not talk about business-related matters.  These are hard to do, but well worth the effort to execute.

How Do You Create Boundaries?

Having, over the years, over eight family members in and out of the business, I understand this need.  The first rule of thumb is to create very sustainable and reasonable job descriptions.  The second is to avoid the unhealthy need to control the actions and/or behaviors of family members.

Drafting, discussion, redrafting, and delivering an agreed upon job description for the family member is critical.  If and when the time arises when work is not being performed to expectation, or they are performing someone else’s work, there is something concrete and practical to refer them to in an effort to realign their behaviors.  A secondary reason for this is that it gives the member purpose.  In an effort to avoid nepotism or favoritism (if avoiding such is desirous), both parties have the document(s) to refer to.

Allowing the family member to perform their work without your control is important.  As we begin the impossible task of maintaining their actions and behaviors, we set an insurmountable expectation that will do nothing but present us with disappointment.  In lieu of this reality, work to allow the family member to develop, with proper training, coaching, etc., into the professional they are to be.  While I realize this reads as being flippant, it has been our experience that those more successful entrepreneurial family business firms give the family member and non-family member relative amounts of leeway in order to develop in healthy and productive ways.

I agree there is a lot more to boundaries between family members, but these two are two of the more important lessons.

I Want My Child In The Business But They Don’t Want To Be Here

          A few years ago I took a phone call from the CEO of a small company.  As a caring mother, she wanted her children to follow her into the multi-generational family business.  She is an astute person and exceptional leader running a very successful enterprise.  As she spoke I listened very carefully to her words and how she used them. After a few questions and more listening, I asked her how I could help.  She replied by asking me what did she need to say to convince her children to join the business.

          My reply then, as now, was simple.  You Don’t.  One of the worst things we can do in the family business model is foster environments of nepotism.  Forcing a child to join the ranks is as potentially disastrous as having Nero-like children joining the business.  While the former can grow into enjoying the business, the latter is more dangerous as they have the tendency ostracize family and non-family members as well as present a continual drain on both tangible and intangible company resources.  The latter can also reform, but not without more struggle.

          As we talked, I encouraged her to talk independently to her children first, and then collectively.  As an intelligent leader, she knew what to look for but needed the right questions to ask.  We talked and agreed that allowing her child to clearly voice their life objectives was a wise decision, as this allowed her to voice her concerns about the company.  As a group, she was then able to speak with intention to the entire family about her goals and how, if willing, they could fit in.  (An important point about the inclusion of family members to the business is that they need a specific role and set of responsibilities.)

          We spoke sometime later and while there was some angst in the process, she shared with them the various positions she wanted them to begin with and charted a path for success, should they work for it, and allowed them to make up their own minds.

          This opened the future family members up to a new reality.  Here was a job that they had a qualification, or potential, for, and has a path for success.  The children that joined the business and are thriving today because this CEO had the courage to be upfront with them, without forcing them to be a part of the business.

Follow-up Action Item

          If you are in the family business, look around.  Are the members there because they want to be?  Are they forced members, Nero-like, or both?  If you are in a position that can make critical decisions, it’s time to have important conversations with these members.

Takeaway

          The entrepreneurial family business model is a very detailed and dynamic model.  While there are no real “silver bullets” to solve familial issues in the workplace, the above can help to set you on the path to developing a healthy and productive environment.

Delivering Your Best

Stay In The Question

Have you ever experienced the kind of clear water that betrays the true depth of the surface bottom, such as that in an open body of water?  It’s possible you have at least seen a picture of this.  How did this make you feel?  Did you feel a sense of ease or clarity because what you could see was plain to you?  Or, maybe you felt a sense of beauty in nature?

Clarity in the communication model evokes the same or similar emotions.  Having the courage to ask questions allows for clarity in all our relationships, whether they are professional, personal, or a combination of the two.  In the communication model, understanding is the key to measuring expectations; and, asking questions fosters this harmony with others.  When we ask questions that are timely and relevant to the task-at-hand, we are engaging in more responsive communication. 

Unfortunately, we often feel a sense of inner betrayal when we ask questions.  Our inner selves tell us not to ask a lot of questions because the receiving person, or group, might have a belief that we are not as intelligent as we should be to the task.  Thus, most of us don’t want to admit when we don’t understand.

In order to cultivate productive people in the leadership model, you must be able to get them to communicate.  Over the years and through various failed attempts at effective communication, I realized that I needed to re-evaluate my approach.  My thought process was centered on ensuring my needs were met.  While this is important to leadership, I now believe that successful leaders first realize the other person’s needs must be met in order for my needs to be met.  This is accomplished through effective communication, and this effectiveness is centered on the principle of asking questions, or staying in the question with the other person.

While it is imperative that you develop a few questions that fit the needs of your environment, here are the three that I ask without fail:

What is your understanding?

What questions do you have?

What can I do for you?

What Is Your Understanding?

Asking questions that open the conversation is crucial.  It may be easier to ask questions that close the conversation (Yes/No questions, e.g.), but these do not necessarily encourage further thought and consideration.  As is the case, I always start by asking for the other person to restate their understanding of the discussion/task.

It is important to not interrupt their statement of understanding.  Allow the other person to take as long as is necessary to articulate their understanding.  Critical, active listening is crucial here.  Often, they will ask additional questions/statements that add to their clarification.  Try to be as specific as possible in response to their question and in as few words as possible.  You may need to practice this, but it is important to not overrun the recall of their understanding with your words.  Once they have finished use this opportunity to clarify any points.  This is also an opportunity to praise the person.  Remember, in the leadership model praise can be a tool for furthering effective communication.

Listening actively and completely, and without interruption is important not only to ensure the other person has understanding, it is also a good opportunity to work on your critical listening skills.  While you work on these skills, you also present the image to the other person that you are interested and engaged with what they are saying to you.  Again, effective leaders listen and the people that communicate with them know this.

What Questions Do You Have?

This may or may not have been addressed in the first question, but I always follow-up with this question.  If there are additional questions, keep the answers on point and relevant to the accomplishment of the task.  Avoid the temptation to wander down the tangent tree and pick interesting but irrelevant berries of knowledge.  If the additional information will not immediately help with the task in question, avoid this.

Another point to focus on during this question is to ensure the other party knows that at any point during their execution of the task they are supposed to ask questions when they arise.  One way to reinforce this is to forge a healthy give-and-take communication model with them; let them know their questions are safe and not avenues for you to attack them.  If you are listening to their questions and doing your part keep the questions/answers on track you will create healthy communication.  Obviously, too many questions begin to border on the trivial but as a leader it is your job to focus their clarity through questions of your own.

When you answer these questions, and any for that matter, put your heart first.  Listen to the issue of clarity and respond with a desire to be helpful.  It has been our experience that when leaders genuinely cultivate emotionally-mature environments, the people around them ask better questions and are otherwise more knowledgeable at executing their tasks.  In addition, these people are generally happier and more responsive when someone else has a question.

What Can I Do For You?

          This is the most important step to consider when staying in the question.  With various answers, you can clarify the question/statement with a follow-up question.  Keep drilling down with more questions until you and the other person understand exactly what they are, in return, asking of you is important to effective communication.

          A secondary consideration here is the level of commitment this creates within the leadership model.  Asking this question to someone exposes them to careful consideration of the task, and if they confirm there is nothing you can do for them they are now in charge of the task.  This holds an edge, however.  The person charged with the task may run into a roadblock along the path to completion and now feel they cannot ask you a question due to their earlier response.  Be watchful for this.

By creating an environment of staying in the question, your appropriate follow-up during the execution of the task will be to ensure that you ask this question again (possibly more than once depending on the time frame).  You can also realign an errant person and help them back to the path with this question.  It has been our experience that good leaders want to help others be successful.  If this is you, take heed and stay in the question for the duration of the task.

Follow-up Action Item

          Look at your current communication style in your relationships.  Do you ask questions?  Do you actively listen when someone is answering?  Practice asking a few more meaningful and probing questions that further understanding.  Then, practice critical listening, giving your full attention to what is being said.  This is a skill that is honed with practice!

Takeaway

          Leadership is about communicating.  Effective communication includes staying in the question.  Always ask questions and always be listening.  Often times, when we present a strategy and stay in the question, others present outstanding tactical ideas (ideas about accomplishing the strategy).

Delivering Your Best